Seriously, I think I've done nothing since Saturday's post. It wasn't a total loss this weekend, but it was not great. First, to recap from the last post, it turns out that my son was not-not invited to a b-day party of a friend; the parent I was speaking with had misspoke about who's birthday it was. So I was wound around the axle for nothing. But we did do a playdate the next day with my daughter's friend, and that went pretty well--until my daughter peed her pants at their house. this is the first daytime accident she's had since she potty trained, so it really was a case of just being too excited. I almost handled it well. We had just given the 5 minute "we're leaving soon" warning when it happened, so it seemed natural the just go ahead and leave. But I was a little irritated/embarassed, so I was like, "well, we've got to go. we can't stay now." Not a nice move. Commence meltdown.
The fallout from the meltdown (and her being generally tired) lasted all day and night, until bedtime, when she was pouting about something (I don't even remember). I finally remembered/chose to practice empathetic listening, and bam, defenses came down and tears commenced. I'm glad that the technique works so well, but I frequently fear that the only emotion my children can express well is sadness.
Tomorrow is a big day for me as I start school full-time again. I am going to be super stressed out fairly soon. On the bright side, I will be less depressed and probably less anxious, since school give's me something to focus on. So, parenting goal for tomorrow:
The power of touch and non-verbal communication. The first one is easy--I will just focusing on being more affectionate, and touching their arm when I am trying to get their attention (instead of repeating their names multiple times). The second is something I need to work on more. A lot of times I am just going through the motions and my heart is not really in it. And my daughter can tell. We are like a rubber band on two different fingers. If I pull away, she wants to follow. So I guess I'll be more mindful with them tomorrow.
No comments:
Post a Comment