Inane commentary results

Note--yesterday's 5-1 ratio is based on the idea I've heard that people have "love banks". For every negative thing you say, you must have 5 positive things in the person's love bank to prevent them from being overdrawn.

So today went better than yesterday.  I didn't get any commentary in for Grace this morning because she was mostly asleep until I got her in the car, but Edward got up early, dressed himself, and cleaned up his breakfast plate.  Easy commentary/praise there. We got off without any hassle this morning--I really think having a concrete, positive goal in mind makes it so much easier to achieve my real goal--not to yell.

When I picked them up, my son had requested a visit to the park, so we did a couple of trails. Again, nothing specific to comment on, but we had a good time.  At home, my son helped me sort legos, but my daughter was upset I was not playing with her, and not interested in picking up legos.  Sometimes she is super-helpful, but today was not that day for her.

I am a hard-core introvert, so by hour 4 of hanging out with them, I was pretty done. That sounds terrible, I know. But I just tuned out during dinner and then I was ready to go again for the bed time routine.  They spilled water all over the bathroom floor again, but this time I calmly told them it was time to get out, and that it would be time to get out every time they spilled water all over the floor.

The commentary is somewhat difficult to do. I tried to avoid using the phrase "good job" since all the current childrearing stuff says that.  It's basically just statements about what they are doing, but it feels really unnatural.

So, overall, not a terrible day. Concentrating on the praising tip helped me more successfully achieve the 5-1 ratio good things for bad things. But I'd like something that could move our day from "meh" to "awesome."  So....

From a cornucopia of parenting sites.... tomorrow I will treat my children with respect. I will treat them, as much as possible, like other adults (or at least other people's kids--haha.) I will not make disparaging remarks about their time management skills under my breath, I will hopefully not yell, and I will respond to all conversations (you know, admitting to all the terrible parenting things I do is embarassing and cathartic.)

Oh, and have I mentioned the kids aren't going to be in school tomorrow?  It's going to be a long day....